This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize