Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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