Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
