where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
