I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
