I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The struggles of a small town man whore
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
