I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
third nipple confirmed
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
