He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize