I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
