break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
