Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
