i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize