so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
