you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize