JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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