my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
