The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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