How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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