Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
