I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my phone needs a breathalizer
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
