you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
