I can tuck mytits in my pants
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
