we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
