What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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