i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize