So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You are a genius and a whore.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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