I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
