So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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