the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
