having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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