That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
