Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
