You're so nebulous sometimes
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
