but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize