I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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