Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
