Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
