This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize