Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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