Rock
Scissors
Fuck
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
