Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
