Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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