Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
