Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
