Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
