We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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