So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
