There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
