I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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