My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
