grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
