question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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