I will die if light touches me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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