And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
