She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize