I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize