Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
