She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize