I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
