If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
