how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
