Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
