11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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