Umm I'm too high to move.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
