I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
