I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
