So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
