dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
