What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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