I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
