You're a womanizer and a bitch.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
